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The Onion: Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities

Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities

...In the end, however, God was unable to convince Schofield that He did not deliberately create a marketplace hostile to rival deities. God's attorneys attempted to convince the judge of His openness to rivals, pointing to His longtime participation in the "Holy Trinity," but the effort failed when Schofield determined that Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are "more God subsidiaries than competitors."


Posted by chris at 05:53 PM | Permalink

Search function

In a moment of selflessness I added a search function to the site over the weekend, so now you can dredge my dross much more efficiently. Happy hunting. Japlish update coming as soon as I have half an hour to edit the reams of worthy entries from my pda...

Posted by chris at 04:30 PM | Permalink

Mirror in the bathroom

Oh, cool - my first mirror project submission was accepted.

Posted by chris at 12:10 PM | Permalink

Fridge update

Fridge contents updated - I now have only one out-of-date carton of OJ sitting there... must get around to throwing it away. You might have thought it would be just as easy to open the fridge, pick up said carton, empty it down the sink and then chuck it away as it would be to open the fridge, inspect the use-by-date on the packaging, make a note of it and then publish the information to, say, a personal Web site - but it never quite seems to work that way. Not sure why. Just goes to show how convenient Blogger is, I suppose.

Also just wanted to point out the superb Pocari Sweat sites I came across as I was looking for an appropriate, context-furnishing, background information link (for those of you who were under the assumption that it was a Chinese herbal remedy wrung from some kind of creature called a pocari). It's a sports drink, and it's nice that the manufacturers saw fit to set up this site, but I think their telling us how much moisture our bodies lose each day through, uh, excrement, was perhaps a little too much information.

Posted by chris at 03:51 PM | Permalink

The 2002 Weblog Awards

Well, that's certainly *one* way to force me back to the keyboard - get nominated for a Bloggie. I'm... stunned.

I've been neglecting the blog a little recently - it's not been anything as formal or strictly-defined as an official hiatus, a New Year's break or a short prison sentence (who'd have thought encouraging your kid brother to eat the yellow snow would be a crime? I ask you! But anyway) but rather a brief period of non-bloggingnessosity due to work pressure and stuff. Rather than coming home and forgetting about the office by means of a nice cathartic blog, it appears that I deal with the pressure of detailed project work by coming home and staring zombie-like at my screen, my mind still reeling. I get the distinct impression I wouldn't know how to relax if I was in a coma, sometimes.

But I've been planning my return - and now seems as good a time as any. If I'd realised all I needed was an (largely undeserved, I'm sure) award nomination to shock me out of my torpor then heck, I would have nominated myself for something a week and a half ago. The Most Dangerously Past Their Use-by Date Refrigerator Contents Featured on a Weblog Award comes to mind, for example.

If you want to vote for me, then, uh... well, a) thank you very much and b) you should probably read some of the rest of the site first, so you know what you're letting yourself in for with your endorsement. And you should *definitely* read the other nominees' sites too.

Or even instead.

Posted by chris at 11:57 AM | Permalink


Back from New York, yes; possessed of spare time in which to sit down, edit photos and compose a lengthy blog post about the whole thing, no. In the meantime, you could have a look at what I was doing on Christmas Day. Back soon, I shouldn't wonder.

Posted by chris at 01:16 AM | Permalink

Bad journalism alert

Bad journalism alert: New York Times blames comics for Japan's low literacy rate - what? 99% is low? Exqueeze me? Be sure to read down to the last paragraph and see what the American rate is.

Posted by chris at 07:52 AM | Permalink

Attack of the Killer Rice Cakes

Yes, it's that time of year again - the annual New Year's rice cake epidemic is with us again. This happens every year - elderly obaachans and ojiisans choke to death on their mochi (sticky rice cakes, traditional New Year's fare).

Which begs the question... why eat them? I mean why? It happens every damn year, for god's sake. Admittedly, one of the victims this time was "only" in his fifties and might have been forgiven for thinking that he had a few years left in him yet, but the other chap was 90, for chrissake - talk about pushing your luck. I really don't have time for a whole anti-traditionalism rant right now, but oooooooh this kind of thing makes me mad.

Mad, I tell you.

Posted by chris at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Exclusive: New York Not Attacked by Terrorists on Stroke of New Year

And we're... still alive - of course.

Happy New Year from New York.

Posted by chris at 01:45 AM | Permalink

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