March 24, 2006
May the Telnet be with you... always
Ok, there's having too much time on your hands, and then there's really having too much time on your hands. Like these guys: an ASCII-animated version of Star Wars Episode IV.
You need Telnet for this to work properly; if the above link doesn't work automatically, you can also watch it here via Java. But, you know... bor-ring. Telnet has much more lo-fi geek cred, IMHO.
[Thanks to Peta, Jedi geek in training, for the link.]
Posted by chris at 07:43 PM | Permalink
March 01, 2006
Swedish cockatoo Scalextric game - the return
Oh, fantastic. My favourite online game ever, whose disappearance I had bemoaned only recently, is back: click on "Spela nu" to get going, choose one player or two, build your track, race against the cockatoo. Lose. Be taunted. In Swedish. Ace.
Sadly, I can't get this working on my Mac. Doesn't like Safari, IE or Firefox so far. Damn Shockwave. So finally I guess we have proof that Windows *is* actually good for something after all...
Posted by chris at 11:53 PM | Permalink
October 30, 2005
When nine hundred years old you reach, dance as well you will not
I was going to post my photos from our recent trip to Hakone this afternoon, but got sidetracked by a number of things, not least of which is this little music video from everyone's favourite 800-year-old Jedi master. Excellent stuff, and far more convincing than all that preposterous lightsaber-somersaulting.
[Link via geisha asobi]
Asimov's 4th law: A robot must serve a mean cuppa
When you think of Japanese robots, you probably think of Asimo, Honda's cutesy dancing-and-soccer robot, or Qrio, Sony's jogging robot. Or perhaps you think of Transformers, or Gundam, or Neon Genesis Evangelion.
But either way, you probably *don't* think of 18th-century Edo-period tea-serving robots:
How does it work? When a tea cup is placed on the tray, the stopper is released by the whale spring attached to the doll’s arms; the spring forces the stopper to engage again when the cup is lifted from the tray.
Further reading: Robotics timeline, featuring similar contraptions.
[Link via Boing Boing]
Posted by chris at 06:31 PM | Permalink
October 12, 2005
How to avoid being (mis-)typecast
You know the kind of person who spends entire movies pointing out anachronistic period detail or other "goofs"? Gems such as, "that kind of hat wasn't produced until the 1930's" or "pah! no hacker would ever use a microsoft ergonomic keyboard!" Of course you do. In fact, if you'd been sat next to me during Die Another Day, you would have heard me muttering all the way through the "fencing" scenes.
Well, anyway, do I have a site for you. Mark Simonson's Son of Typecasting is a page dedicated to pointing out anachronistic font usage in movies and TV shows. The most recent post details font misuse in the Scorcese epic Gangs of New York, which, despite being set exclusively in the 1860's, features a number of twentieth-century typefaces:
Seriously, though, I'm actually really quite taken by Mr. Simonson's webpage. I'm always impressed when someone is able to display such complete mastery of their chosen field, and I suspect I'd be extremely hard pressed to come up with an area in which I was able to expound at such length and with such obvious authority. (For the 15-year-old me it would be Soviet and NATO military aircraft, which I was all over like a cheap suit for a while there... but that was some time ago now.)
So do check it out, and its predecessor, Typecasting, which is more of the glorious same.
Oh - and props to him for his praise of Wes Anderson's Futura obsession in The Royal Tenenbaums, which was indeed a joy to behold.
[Link via kottke.org]
October 05, 2005
I saw this a couple of days ago and immediately wanted one - a sledgehammer-operated keyboard.
It's an art installation, sadly, not a working product, but there have been a couple of e-mails I've sent this year that could have benefitted from being pounded out letter by letter with a 14lb tempered-steel Wilton. D! E! A! R! Space! M! O! R! O! N! ,! Carriage return!
Actually, that's a point, how do you shift? And I guess you'd need a couple of similarly armed mates to help you reboot. But cool nonetheless.
[link via Boing Boing]
July 09, 2002
Wai wai? Why not?
Really busy no time for anything but promise I'll have time to tell you all about everything very shortly including explaining why my mother is sending me syringes in the mail and in the meantime you could do a lot worse than go read some wai wai which I've known about for a while but only been spurred into blogging about since anglepoised.com picked it up because as I think I've already said I really am rather busy right now but I will just take a second to say that I'm definitely not telling you if I'm a ninja or not, no sirree see you soon bye.
Posted by chris at 01:27 PM | Permalink
June 25, 2002
Repeat after me: this Japanese speaking machine will help you brush up your nihongo pronunciation - as long as you don't mind sounding like Tomomi Kahala on speed, that is. (via anglepoised.com)
Incredibly, I actually saw Tomomi Kahala in the street last week - not on speed, though, I hasten to add. At least, I assume not. She looked the perfect stereotype of an extremely famous person trying to look inconspicuous yet failing clumsily: clad entirely in black, with large Blues Brothers sunglasses (at 8pm, the Shibuya neon is indeed bright, but not *that* bright) and being huddled across the street by a small entourage - makes you wonder if she was actually hoping to be mobbed, or at least recognised. I didn't stop her and ask for an autograph for the same reason I wouldn't stop and ask Mariah Carey for one - I'd be afraid that she'd embarrass herself by being so doped-up on anti-depressants that she'd forget her own signature. That or ram the pen through the back of my hand, giggling, natch.
Posted by chris at 01:06 AM | Permalink
April 27, 2002
Oh ho ho ho - I wasn't going to mention this lego figurine creation tool, but that was before I realised I could use it to contrast the state I was in last night (Dave's resplendent 30th at Fujimama's in Harajuku, Sky Lounge in Vision Network and UFO at Yellow)...
...with how I feel now.
Posted by chris at 01:27 PM | Permalink
April 03, 2002
The superior trainability of the domestic pigeon
Ever wondered how Google actually works? Now you can find out. It works best if you imagine that "now" is two days ago, though.
(via many many places)
Posted by chris at 11:14 PM | Permalink
March 29, 2002
Get your war on again
Still going; still great.
Posted by chris at 12:51 AM | Permalink
March 22, 2002
Bush or chimp?
Bush or chimp? Hint - Bush is the one on the right. I think.
(via quiet resonance)
Posted by chris at 12:31 AM | Permalink
March 05, 2002
The Little Ninja
Ninjai - The Little Ninja... Flash goodness from people who clearly know their stuff. I really like the way they reference classic Japanese artwork in their mist'n'mountain vistas... and of course it helps when it's mixed with caped Japanimation ninjas leaping through dense forestscapes, slashing at each other.
If you liked that bit in Princess Mononoke where Prince Ashitaka decapitates a samurai from a couple of hundred metres away - with a bow and arrow - I think it's safe to say you'll love this.
Posted by chris at 11:47 PM | Permalink
January 31, 2002
The Onion: Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities
Posted by chris at 05:53 PM | Permalink
December 15, 2001
Snowball fight game
tiny quick blog post just so I have somewhere to reference it from come monday morning at the office: snowball fight game - brilliant.
Posted by chris at 04:47 AM | Permalink
December 05, 2001
Which online personality test are you?
Heh - no sooner do I speculate about the inevitable meta-bility of the on-line personality test meme producing a "which on-line personality test are you" on-line personality test than I am alerted to this. Apparently, if I were an on-line personality test, I'd be How British Are You?
Posted by chris at 10:51 AM | Permalink
December 03, 2001
If I was a work of art, I would be M. C. Escher's Lizards.
I am a bizarre juxtaposition of the real and the unreal. Based in the realm of mathematics, my two-dimensional appearance belies a complex and free-willed behaviour which both delights and confuses people.
Posted by chris at 03:44 PM | Permalink
Except for the third nipple, of course
If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga.
I enjoy good food, monopolising the world's energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people.
Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test
Posted by chris at 01:00 PM | Permalink
November 26, 2001
Foaming at the mouth
Posted by chris at 02:33 AM | Permalink
November 20, 2001
on the other side of the screen, it all looks so easy
And you thought it was just a game?
Posted by chris at 11:50 AM | Permalink
November 15, 2001
I am C.H.R.I.S.
I am C.H.R.I.S.: Cybernetic Humanoid Responsible for Infiltration and Sabotage. Finally, an alias generator that gets it absolutely right - my dark secret is out. I wonder how hard it would be to build an all-in-one pornstarcyborgNHLplayerJediknight one of these?
Posted by chris at 03:12 PM | Permalink
November 13, 2001
Jolly (air) hockey sticks
Posted by chris at 01:50 AM | Permalink
November 01, 2001
Enter the Dwagon
There's not very much to this kung-fu game, really, but it's very smoothly done and it does at least give you the chance to fight such martial arts luminaries as Chuck Norris and Jonathan Ross.
Posted by chris at 11:43 PM | Permalink
October 31, 2001
Who you callin' a weirdo?
Apparently my work nickname is weirdo... but I'm quite happy with that, seeing as certain people in this office got landed with, for example, "The Perv" and "Gimp". Weirdo will do nicely. (via not.so.soft)
Posted by chris at 05:28 PM | Permalink
October 25, 2001
Posted by chris at 11:06 AM | Permalink
October 21, 2001
A good fight is always worth the wait
Remember the kung-fu stickmen? Or the Korean Bruce Lee line-drawing kung-fu movie? This beats them both hands down: an interactive kung-fu remixer that lets you edit your own Bruce Lee tribute movie. It's almost as if the gods of the Internet are *ordering* me not to get any work done this coming week... (via bwg)
Posted by chris at 11:42 PM | Permalink
October 19, 2001
Can yer tell what it is yet?
My god. Rolf Harris has an official Web site.
Please don't ask what I was doing there. Please just don't.
Posted by chris at 01:22 AM | Permalink
October 18, 2001
Hmmm. A boyfriend training pack... give your boyfriend points for good behaviour, deduct them for bad... it strikes me that if a guy had thought this up for "training" girlfriends there would have been immediate and outraged invective, but because it's the other way round we just chuckle indulgently. Bunch of arse either way. (via not.so.soft)
And anyway, as Bethany pointed out, in our case it would have to be a "wellhelivesinjapanandI'minnewyorkandwell it'scomplicatedandreallymodernanderuhwhatever training pack". There might not be much of a market for that one, but I personally could definitely do with a how-to manual.
Posted by chris at 03:28 PM | Permalink
October 17, 2001
Do, or do not. There is no try.
Posted by chris at 04:00 PM | Permalink
October 16, 2001
Get your war on
Posted by chris at 10:40 AM | Permalink
October 14, 2001
Curse my metal body
Posted by chris at 07:48 PM | Permalink
Screaming Japanese schoolgirls
I'm back, and I'm about to tell you all about it.
But first I wanted to point you towards the Screaming Japanese Schoolgirls Overturn Greenspan's Bus article on the front page of this week's Onion, because it made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my chair. Again.
Posted by chris at 07:09 PM | Permalink
October 04, 2001
Onion: U.S. Urges Bin Laden to Form Nation It Can Attack
A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again - This week's Onion is, again, spot on.
Posted by chris at 04:36 PM | Permalink
September 30, 2001
Onion: Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell
The Onion - finally they weigh in. Worth the wait.
Posted by chris at 03:08 AM | Permalink
September 26, 2001
I have to push the pram a lot
Oh, yes, yes, absolutely. Spot on. If you thought the Lego Star Wars figures were great, I reckon this will be right up your alley. Pick a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and re-enact it with.... you can see where this is going, can't you? Das ist fantastisch. (via BenHammersley.com)
Posted by chris at 05:40 PM | Permalink
September 20, 2001
You absolutely have to check out Homestar Runner. Probably the best, most fully realised set of Flash characters and cartoons I've ever seen. Some reasons why it rocks:Fictionsuits)
Posted by chris at 05:54 PM | Permalink
September 08, 2001
Onion: God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz
God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz SOUTH BRONX, NY - The Lord Almighty finally responded to nearly two decades of praise in hip-hop album liner notes Monday, when He gave a shout-out back to all His loyal niggaz.
Posted by chris at 01:01 AM | Permalink
September 06, 2001
Why popbitch rules
Posted by chris at 10:42 AM | Permalink
September 05, 2001
Possibly not the most challenging game in the world
Possibly not the most challenging interactive shockwave game in the world, but definitely one of the funniest: Poke Alex in the eye: The Game. Be sure to read the legal disclaimer, kids, and don't try this at home.
Actually, yeah, do try it at home. You might get hurt; it could be fun. Oh, I'm going straight to hell for that one. (via fulstow.com)
Posted by chris at 12:46 PM | Permalink
September 04, 2001
How to act convincingly
Posted by chris at 12:54 PM | Permalink
How to dance properly
Oh, good - I remember finding this how to dance properly site a while back and mailing it straight to Nigel, but I don't think I blogged it. Silly me, for 'tis hilarious. Who's your daddy? (happily rediscovered via happeningfish.org)
Posted by chris at 12:07 PM | Permalink
August 24, 2001
404 research lab
Posted by chris at 06:02 PM | Permalink
August 23, 2001
To avoid seeing this message again, buy an Apple Mac.
Pissed off with Windows and its Blue Screen of Death? Unsurprisingly, perhaps, you're not the only one. Be sure to check out the latest version of Clippy, Word's "help" function.
Posted by chris at 12:01 PM | Permalink
August 18, 2001
The Semiotics of Smoking
The Chap is without a doubt the finest on-line review for gentlemen of breeding that I have ever been fortunate enough to happen upon; fight spiritual malaise, learn how to dress for golf, and let Howard Spent's guide to the semiotics of smoking assist you in telling the difference between a nouveau riche and a rum cove. Genius.
Posted by chris at 12:31 AM | Permalink
August 17, 2001
wlEM shAkspEr rulz
This is sheer genius, even if you don't speak fluent hacker: Romeo and Juliet for the L33T generation:
Posted by chris at 12:16 AM | Permalink
August 16, 2001
It's a beautiful, sunny day. I'm going to get up out of this chair, put on some clothes, and go for a nice walk in the park.
Or I was going to - until I found this. Now I will stay inside for the next 45 hours straight (until I have to go to work on Friday) and play three-dimensional pong until my carpal tunnel syndrome becomes so bad that my mouse-hand needs amputating. It's like cocaine - but easier on the nasal membrane.
Posted by chris at 12:03 PM | Permalink
August 03, 2001
I am Jack's Younger Self
Posted by chris at 02:12 PM | Permalink
July 30, 2001
Do Geocities build this in to all their members sites automatically?
..but before I do that, you should check out the fulifier. Just feed in an url and watch as it uglifies it for you. From street-smart-slick to Geocities shrine page in one fell swoop - most amusing. (via vixgirl)
Posted by chris at 06:39 PM | Permalink
July 25, 2001
Some Brits had the disco fries
Found via the below-mentioned bgirl.net: Rob's Amazing Poetry Generator. Give it an url (or a URL) to chew over and it does a passable impression what a modern-day John Donne & Jason Pollock collaboration might be expected to read like. Favorite snippets wrung from this page so far:
I never knew I had it in me.
Posted by chris at 12:10 PM | Permalink
June 26, 2001
A frightened boy
This is very, very funny and not a little disturbing.
Posted by chris at 10:26 PM | Permalink
June 17, 2001
Dogs in elk
Posted by chris at 10:49 PM | Permalink
June 15, 2001
To act, or not to act
The remarkably accurate William Shatner acting simulator is much fun... almost too close to the reality to be satire, though, surely?
Posted by chris at 12:38 AM | Permalink
June 14, 2001
More kung-fu Flash action
More kung-fu Flash action, this time using scanned photos of Bruce Lee's head superimposed on a line-drawing body... Not quite as slick as the stick figure animation from a couple of months ago, but very cool nonetheless. I wish I could read Korean, though I don't think that would add much. Enjoy.
Posted by chris at 10:07 PM | Permalink
June 10, 2001
You twat monkeys good, soldier
The monkeys have you. Now there is no hope.
(via blast!blog, originally via someplace else, because this is how these things work)
Posted by chris at 08:28 PM | Permalink
June 01, 2001
The truth behind S-Club 7. It seems their lyrics are far more intelligent than given credit for...
On the Am I British Or Not? test, I score a mere 40%, making me "Blatently Foreign" (sic). Not sure whether to feel relieved or homesick.
Posted by chris at 11:42 AM | Permalink
May 30, 2001
Paid in pork rinds
An on-line manga which is funny, intelligently written, and regularly updated - it can't be.
Posted by chris at 02:53 PM | Permalink
May 29, 2001
Karate, kendo and spatulas
I thought *I* was obsessed with ninjas but, compared to the guys over at Ninja Burger, the world's leading clandestine fast food delivery service, I am nothing.
There's a veritable shuriken display-case of content, including artwork, haiku, details of their deadly martial art techniques (incorporating "ninjitsu, judo, karate, jujitsu, tae-kwan-do, kendo and spatulas") and even dating tips. I laughed so much I shall have to leave and commit seppuku immediately.
Posted by chris at 04:39 PM | Permalink
May 25, 2001
I pity the fool
Heh. Mr.T haiku, anyone? Best so far:
you want to get me to fly?
better drug my milk
Posted by chris at 03:55 PM | Permalink
May 14, 2001
Oops, I did it (metal-organic chemical vapour deposition, that is) again
You may not have realised that Britney Spears is actually an expert on semiconductor physics but this is, in fact, the case.
Be sure to check out her informative and authorative guide to the Finite Barrier Quantum Well and her equally authoritative essay on Liquid Encapsulated Czochralski Crystal Growth. Stephen Hawking eat your heart out.
Posted by chris at 03:47 PM | Permalink
May 08, 2001
Tuesday morning, and I'm back in the office. Ah well; Golden Week couldn't last forever and so I'm plunged back into the world of intranets and database design. But, to break up the monotony of the day, I bring you limmy.com. This is a rarety among Flash demonstration pages: one that uses looped samples without sounding like it's being played through bacofoil speakers. Even the one slightly risque section is beautifully designed.
While I'm on the subject, you should certainly check out infinite wheel; if you don't find Bad Oyster enjoyable then you need your head examined. These guys (this guy? those gals? that baboon? damn these anonymous websites) are also responsible for the official Mark & Lard site, another essential resource for those of us who are BBCically challenged.
Posted by chris at 04:02 PM | Permalink
April 13, 2001
Dive dive dive
A seemingly pointless act of madness? Or a truly pointless act of madness? You tell me.
Posted by chris at 10:40 AM | Permalink
April 07, 2001
Anyone for Swedish-cockatoo-scalextric?
Man, I love days at work where I can be productive (we now have an intranet. well done me.) and yet still find time to play scalextric against a Swedish cockatoo.
This kind of day is, surprisingly, rare.
Posted by chris at 11:36 PM | Permalink
April 06, 2001
Another genuinely innovative site; Word Perhect is a delightful spoof word processor.
Be sure to check out what all the toolbar buttons do, and browse through the help section, too. Complete with spoof "Tip of the Day", too. "Did you know? Drinking loads of water will help you when you are tired." Much more helpful than the usual "Press F7 to activate the spellchecker" rubbish.
Posted by chris at 03:11 PM | Permalink